The third annual METAL HAMMER AWARDS recently took place in London. On the 13th of June the "stars" descended upon the Astoria on Charing Cross Road, for what was promised to be a night to remember. I was there to find out if this was actually true...
This year the MH awards reaches it's 3rd anniversary, and things have now moved to the Astoria - a rather odd choice of venue, considering it IS an awards ceremony and the Astoria itself is closer to a public toilet than anything else. But still, poor ventilation and sticky floors aside, they obviously aren't too fussy - there is allegedly more "quality" music on offer this evening than actual pomp and circumstance, but I'll go into that shortly.
There is a hustle and bustle for the latter half of the afternoon outside the Soho-based venue, and eventually the doors open around 6pm and everyone files in, it's only a shame that the celebrity "red carpet" isn't rolled out until most people are already inside - it would have been nice to have seen some famous faces whilst queuing - considering most of the stars would be hiding upstairs on the upper level of the Astoria for most of the main event - away from us mere mortals. Admittedly I did end up in the lobby a little later (whilst waiting to go backstage to meet Nightwish) and was just in time to hear Zakk Wylde informing the young lady interviewing him that after the show he was "looking forward to putting his thing in his wife's anus". What a gent.
The crowd in the downstairs section is overly rammed as usual - seemingly the organisers saw fit to create the effect of a "buzzing crowd" for the ITV cameras by giving away 500 more tickets than the actual legal capacity. The inability to breathe or move properly aside, the stage setup is far more impressive than expected for such a small venue - including several large banners that have holographic images projected onto them from machines in the ceiling.
A brief bit of banter later from irritating XFM DJ "Ian Camfield" and the first band to hit the stage is Trivium. Not really being a fan of their music or their typically Roadrunnerised "Heavy/Melodic/Heavy/Melodic" style, I was pleasantly surprised with the band's energy and their gleeful stage prescense - even from playing only a couple of songs. The crowd seem to lap it up, and it's obvious these may be the new golden boys of metal for some time to come. That is of course until they become REALLY popular, like SLIPKNOT popular - and then everyone will suddenly decide they are shite. For a moment I almost considered giving their new album a try myself.
Soon after Trivium leave the stage I manage to bump into none other than Hamish of MY DYING BRIDE and it gives me a good opportunity to thank him for the interview he gave Metal Monk, and to my surprise I find out he actually checks out our site now and again! We have a good old natter about the new "Remixes" on their recent best of collection, and also the new direction in which the next MDB release may be going. An unexpected high point to the evening.
The next band up are Bullet for my Valentine, which unfortunately I can't fairly comment on, as they take to the stage right at the very moment I head backstage to meet the members of Nightwish. Despite being hounded for interviews by the likes of Kerrang and other mainstream magazines, the band seem in good spirits despite their late performance and all-round airport cockup for the Download Festival the day before (the band were so late they could only fit four songs into their set). Even the elusive Tarja makes an unscheduled appearance and seems more than happy to pose for photos.
Soon afterwards, back in the heaving sweatbox of the Astoria, I am back just in time to witness the amusing "Air Guitar Competition". Narrowly missing the winning position, the guy dressed as Darth Vader who shreds to "Van Halen" using a lightsaber gets a roaring reaction from the crowd - despite only coming second. It certainly made me chuckle. Shame then, that Tommy Iommi of Black Sabbath deemed the lass with big norks to win instead. Ah well, he's only human I guess.
Shadows Fall are up next, and being probably the only "metalcore" band I would give the time of day, I am quite looking forward to seeing them perform again (Having first seen them at the original MH Awards 2 years ago). Sadly, the "Astoria Sound System of Doom" kills things for them this time around, and I spend more of the set marvelling at Brain Fair's ridiculously long hair than actually concentrating on the music, because some of it is simply inaudible. Still, the track "Thoughts without Words" still manages to impress, and there's not really a lot else you can hope to achieve with only three songs. The same can also be said of Nightwish, who again play only three songs, and someone on the soundboard thinks it's a good idea to turn off Emppu's guitar during the opener "Dark Chest of Wonders". Great plan. Things are back on track for final song "Wish I Had An Angel", which to be frank is a titan of a song in the live environment.
You are probably wondering about the awards part by now yes? Well the actual award announcements are done in between the band performances and spread throughout the evening, but done in such a rushed and half arsed way I'm not even sure why they bothered. Ian Camfield embarrasingly brown noses himself to the various winners that come on stage. There are no reading of the nominees either, just "SO AND SO WON THIS AWARD" and they go and collect it. Half the acts that actually win are mind boggling - even moreso that people actually voted for them in the magazine itself (isn't it METAL HAMMER, not "lite rock" HAMMER?). 
The 12 - 14 age bracket that obviously did most of the voting are most definitely not present tonight - as most awards are met with unrestful boos and jeers from the crowd. The organisers look embarrassed as bands are heckled and bottles are thrown, Ville Vallo being the biggest victim of the evening. Lostprophets are equally as popular - winning best British Band despite not having released a thing in ages, and THE USED have the common sense to deliver a video message instead of appearing to accept their award for "Best International Act" due to the fact they are barely a rock band, let alone metal, and this goes down about as well as a festering leprosy outbreak amongst the already hot and agitated crowd. I will be interested to see how ITV edit the footage to make it seem like the crowd are enjoying themselves...
There are still some moments of light relief. Zakk Wylde embarrasingly rambles through a tale of him and the late Dimebag on one of their many drinking escapades, before throwing his Metal Hammer Award straight into the audience and staggering off the stage. Herman Li and the guys from Dragonforce later invade the stage, and hardly any of them can stand up properly, let alone put coherent sentences together. They proceed to make total tits of themselves before almost falling off the stage, but it's all in good fun. Oh and Lemmy wins the "Golden God" award, which I swear he also won at the first ceremony 2 years ago. Maybe they have to give him an award to get him to turn up? And then of course there are the Jagermeister girls milling about the place whose idea of promotion is to throw countless orange condoms into the audience from the balcony above.....
The final award of the evening is accepted by Anthrax before they take to the stage to perform 5 or 6 of their more well known songs. The crowd reaction to the thrash legends is immense - and makes for some extremely crazed moshpit action. This sort of music really isn't my cup of tea however, so they could've put on the greatest performance in the world and it wouldn't have mattered - I retire to the bar for a breather towards the end of the show.
As an event that was free, I can't really complain. I certainly had a fun evening - but the organisation of the event seems to have taken a drastic step back since the original awards at the Kentish Town Forum over 2 years ago, which despite being a first-time thing seemed to work so much better. I don't think it helps that the Astoria was such a poor choice of venue for an event such as this - no room to move, bad sound, too hot and the "celebs" were all far too hidden away from the regular "plebs" left stuck downstairs sweating their arses off - and the mind still boggles over some of the winners! Hopefully next year the event will return to a far more suitable venue - or at least one where a can of warm lager isn't £3.20.
Winners on the night were:
Best UK Band: Lostprophets
Best Live Band: Slipknot
Best International Band: The Used
Best Underground Band: Meshuggah/Mastodon
Best Metal Record Label: Roadrunner
Incoming Award For Best Newcomer: Nightwish
Best Video: My Chemical Romance 'Helena'
Riff Lord Award: Zakk Wylde
Shredder Award: Herman Li, Dragonforce
Best Metal Band: Anthrax
Best album: Judas Priest 'Angel Of Retribution'
Icon Award: Ville Valo
The Spirit Of Hammer: Black Sabbath
The Golden God Award: Lemmy
